like i said, there were 70 pictures to choose from. this is only 15. my second attempt at photography. tell me what you think?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
happy pants
so i recently got my two photography projects done =] i did one at olbrich botanical gardens in madtown. i think i got some pretty alright flower shots. i need to narrow that down to five pics. also, i did my portrait project with austin ^_^ at riverside park by my house. we took them right by the river. i need to pick my favorite one of those. all together, i took 70 pictures. a holy fucking lot of them. i'm only going to post my faves on here sometime soon cuz i am really proud of them. as far as my drawing goes, don't expect to be seeing any of that on here. i wish drawing was as fast as taking pictures. but whatever.
on another note, i'm not so stressed out about stuff anymore. skyler, kinda annoying after a while. candice, just another drama queen who can say whatever she wants. and i barely remember what else was bothering me. also, the doctor gave me some acid reflux pills that are totally helping. let's just hope i don't gain weight from all this eating.
so last week, i hung out with austin for like 4 days straight. it was kinda amazing. tonight, i'm going to see west side story with my bestie, katie. a shit ton of people i know are in it. be sure to look for my pictures soon. please tell me what you think. =] that's all for now. i don't actually have any really big stories. that's what happens in the summer. toodles.
on another note, i'm not so stressed out about stuff anymore. skyler, kinda annoying after a while. candice, just another drama queen who can say whatever she wants. and i barely remember what else was bothering me. also, the doctor gave me some acid reflux pills that are totally helping. let's just hope i don't gain weight from all this eating.
so last week, i hung out with austin for like 4 days straight. it was kinda amazing. tonight, i'm going to see west side story with my bestie, katie. a shit ton of people i know are in it. be sure to look for my pictures soon. please tell me what you think. =] that's all for now. i don't actually have any really big stories. that's what happens in the summer. toodles.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
egad!
so, i completely lied about posting more often. turns out i have a life. or something remotely close to that. yeah.
things in life so far
boring as hell
slightly more dramatic than i please
and yeah
i hate sitting around all the time. miss kaitlyn is in italy. i'm happy for her. jocelyn has just arrived in new york. oh dearie. i have not left wisconsin. it's only been like 2 and a half weeks since school ended. it already seems like summer is ending. in these past 2 and a half weeks, i have not read nearly as much as i said i would, i have not written anything new as far as poetry or stories go, and i just recently started drawing again...today. oh self...what is wrong?
it all began when austin's friend candice from greenbay started telling everyone how much she hated me cuz i'm stealing austin from all of his friends. my way of helping the situation was to write a lovely lil letter to her. hmmm. things didn't work out and it's been bothering me ever since. then, on father's day (also my brother's graduation party), my most wonderful father decided not to show up. i think that's where i really started to dig my hole. some other stuff might have happened. i cannot recall. recently, i told austin that i've kinda had a crush on his friend skyler for quite some time. that shit has been eating at me all day every day. i wanna smack myself.
on a happy note, i finally started thinking about my projects for 4-H. finally, something to occupy my thougths!
->five color photographs (prolly flowers)
->portrait (prolly austin)
->window treatment (curtains for my dining room)
->item made from recycled material (candle holder from pop cans)
->pastel drawing (pink lily that i did in school...major cheating)
->pencil drawing (white calla lily)
i started the white calla lily drawing today. i really hope it turns out well. i worry so much about my drawings and photography stuff for 4-H because it's stuff that i'm really passionate about and it gets judged so i worry a hella lot about doing well on that shiz. however, i can't wait for the county fair. since i quit the 4-H showchoir i can actually enjoy the fair this year. idk.
ugh skyler. it's so wrong. i don't really think it's much of a crush tho. more of a fascination (like how i explained it to austin). he's year ahead of me in school. i knew him in middle school. he has huge gauges and a tongue piercing. he likes metal and rap. wears a lot of band tees and pants are his favorite. i've always liked guys like that. plus, he has depression issues and stuff...which fits what i like more. but the thing is that i still love austin like there's no tomorrow. yeah, i like skyler's style and he has an amazing personality. however, he isn't exactly the type of guy i would want to spend the rest of my life with. i would just love to be close friends with him and since we text like twice a day that seems like a strong possibility. it seems like i have all of this figured out so why does it still bother me so much? i have no idea.
i wish i had more interesting things to blog about. the problem with me is that i am always willing to help other people with their problems but when it's my turn, i never want to talk. i really need to learn how tho because this shit keeps piling up and i'm letting every little problem turn into something huge.
blah.
END.
things in life so far
boring as hell
slightly more dramatic than i please
and yeah
i hate sitting around all the time. miss kaitlyn is in italy. i'm happy for her. jocelyn has just arrived in new york. oh dearie. i have not left wisconsin. it's only been like 2 and a half weeks since school ended. it already seems like summer is ending. in these past 2 and a half weeks, i have not read nearly as much as i said i would, i have not written anything new as far as poetry or stories go, and i just recently started drawing again...today. oh self...what is wrong?
it all began when austin's friend candice from greenbay started telling everyone how much she hated me cuz i'm stealing austin from all of his friends. my way of helping the situation was to write a lovely lil letter to her. hmmm. things didn't work out and it's been bothering me ever since. then, on father's day (also my brother's graduation party), my most wonderful father decided not to show up. i think that's where i really started to dig my hole. some other stuff might have happened. i cannot recall. recently, i told austin that i've kinda had a crush on his friend skyler for quite some time. that shit has been eating at me all day every day. i wanna smack myself.
on a happy note, i finally started thinking about my projects for 4-H. finally, something to occupy my thougths!
->five color photographs (prolly flowers)
->portrait (prolly austin)
->window treatment (curtains for my dining room)
->item made from recycled material (candle holder from pop cans)
->pastel drawing (pink lily that i did in school...major cheating)
->pencil drawing (white calla lily)
i started the white calla lily drawing today. i really hope it turns out well. i worry so much about my drawings and photography stuff for 4-H because it's stuff that i'm really passionate about and it gets judged so i worry a hella lot about doing well on that shiz. however, i can't wait for the county fair. since i quit the 4-H showchoir i can actually enjoy the fair this year. idk.
ugh skyler. it's so wrong. i don't really think it's much of a crush tho. more of a fascination (like how i explained it to austin). he's year ahead of me in school. i knew him in middle school. he has huge gauges and a tongue piercing. he likes metal and rap. wears a lot of band tees and pants are his favorite. i've always liked guys like that. plus, he has depression issues and stuff...which fits what i like more. but the thing is that i still love austin like there's no tomorrow. yeah, i like skyler's style and he has an amazing personality. however, he isn't exactly the type of guy i would want to spend the rest of my life with. i would just love to be close friends with him and since we text like twice a day that seems like a strong possibility. it seems like i have all of this figured out so why does it still bother me so much? i have no idea.
i wish i had more interesting things to blog about. the problem with me is that i am always willing to help other people with their problems but when it's my turn, i never want to talk. i really need to learn how tho because this shit keeps piling up and i'm letting every little problem turn into something huge.
blah.
END.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
the thunder
june 11th, 2009: my freshman year of highschool ended. i can't believe i survived. in all honesty, high school was different in a lot of ways. for one thing, it was a lot less scary than i imagined as far as teachers and getting lost go. seriously, shit was kinda easy. however, people weren't. as usual, people will always change throughout the years. a majority of my friends changed clothes and friends and whatnot. good to say that personalities didn't differ by too much. i met a lot of cool people. some were people i knew before but never got a chance to click with. some were people i never thought i would have a chance with. some were just people i thought were funny (farmer emo kid). least to say, my first year of high school didn't kill me. i can't say that i've changed a drastic amount or anything like that but i have improved in some ways. i've kept a relationship with most of my close friends (exception to those who went to the other high school in town) and i've kept a boyfriend for over six months now. i took some hard classes, some being harder than others with better teachers than others, and i managed to get no lower than a B+ in all of them. so what if i didn't get a 4.0 like some people. i won't graduate valedictorian or be head of my class. however, i am happy with how i performed and i challenged myself to the fullest extent that i could.
not only did i do good as far as academics and friends, i also took a lot of time to figure myself out. i now have a great idea of what i want to do in my future. also, i know my place in high school. i am far from a popular kid. i don't do the whole american eagle, ambercrombie, hollister junk. i never will. at the same time, i don't live at pac sun and hot topic anymore haha. i'm not preppy, i'm not emo, i'm not a hick, i'm not a geek. in fact, i don't think i'm much of anybody. i'm kind of artsy in my own lil way. one day i'll wear something cute, one day will just be tank tops, another will be band tshirts. i still love my skinny jeans. i've picked up on the flip flops thing but i still love vans slip ons and chuck taylors in the fall and winter =]. i'm still who i was before and then some. i've extended myself. i may not be known all throughout the school. i'm not in band and i don't do the school plays like a lot of my friends. but i don't care. i like who i am. i don't need a lot of people to know my name. i don't need a lot of friends who only talk to me because of the clothes i wear. i'm happy with my nobody status as long as i know my friends are true and always there for me.
high school. i can't find any way to describe it besides life changing and i'm only one year thru. i didn't freak out like i thought i was going to and i tried my best to not let the pressure get to me like i know A LOT of kids did. my next three years i know what to expect and i know i'm going to do well no matter how much i worry about grades or fitting in and all that junk. i think i've got a pretty good grip on things.
this year was my first year in a while that i was begging for summer to come. even tho high school was fun and all, it is a lot of pressure and work. this summer i don't have a dumb pushy show choir to worry about. i've got a boyfriend to spend time with and a best friend to catch up with =]. i've also got a huge stack of books waiting to get read and an art portfolio waiting to be created. possibly i'll attempt some photography or work on my tan lol. all i know is i'm gonna relax and take some time for me as well as keeping in touch with people.
high school...
not only did i do good as far as academics and friends, i also took a lot of time to figure myself out. i now have a great idea of what i want to do in my future. also, i know my place in high school. i am far from a popular kid. i don't do the whole american eagle, ambercrombie, hollister junk. i never will. at the same time, i don't live at pac sun and hot topic anymore haha. i'm not preppy, i'm not emo, i'm not a hick, i'm not a geek. in fact, i don't think i'm much of anybody. i'm kind of artsy in my own lil way. one day i'll wear something cute, one day will just be tank tops, another will be band tshirts. i still love my skinny jeans. i've picked up on the flip flops thing but i still love vans slip ons and chuck taylors in the fall and winter =]. i'm still who i was before and then some. i've extended myself. i may not be known all throughout the school. i'm not in band and i don't do the school plays like a lot of my friends. but i don't care. i like who i am. i don't need a lot of people to know my name. i don't need a lot of friends who only talk to me because of the clothes i wear. i'm happy with my nobody status as long as i know my friends are true and always there for me.
high school. i can't find any way to describe it besides life changing and i'm only one year thru. i didn't freak out like i thought i was going to and i tried my best to not let the pressure get to me like i know A LOT of kids did. my next three years i know what to expect and i know i'm going to do well no matter how much i worry about grades or fitting in and all that junk. i think i've got a pretty good grip on things.
this year was my first year in a while that i was begging for summer to come. even tho high school was fun and all, it is a lot of pressure and work. this summer i don't have a dumb pushy show choir to worry about. i've got a boyfriend to spend time with and a best friend to catch up with =]. i've also got a huge stack of books waiting to get read and an art portfolio waiting to be created. possibly i'll attempt some photography or work on my tan lol. all i know is i'm gonna relax and take some time for me as well as keeping in touch with people.
high school...
Saturday, June 6, 2009
it's been a while
i haven't posted in forever. been caught up in school. however, there shall be lots to come this summer when i actually have time =] in fact, i kinda look forward to blogging again. it's a nice release.
anywho, i changed the name of my blog to "We Are Always Searching" because in all reality, i do not enjoy killing everyone. just some people. plus, i think that fits my mindset at this moment in time. likewise, i changed my url to http://restisforthedead.blogspot.com/ in case you want to visit me that way.
alas, i shall be on my way again but hopefully not for long. look for me in the next two weeks or so =]
anywho, i changed the name of my blog to "We Are Always Searching" because in all reality, i do not enjoy killing everyone. just some people. plus, i think that fits my mindset at this moment in time. likewise, i changed my url to http://restisforthedead.blogspot.com/ in case you want to visit me that way.
alas, i shall be on my way again but hopefully not for long. look for me in the next two weeks or so =]
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
i wanna be an astronaut and get high...
...break the barrier of sound into the sky...
i'm having trouble grasping the concept of growing up. i still act like a little kid all the time. i don't ever want to let go of being a child. yet, i really want to get older and be free. it's a troubling concept. all i know is that you can't redo things. there are no second chances (unless you believe in magical stuff like that) so you have to live while you can. i really need to stop doing things that i know i'll regret later. i need to do the best that i can and make all my dreams happen. i have no idea why i'm talking about this. it sort of came out of nowhere.
it is the third day that austin has been on his trip to greenbay. he sent me a picture of his friends alex and anthony. haha i'm glad he is having a good time. cept i'm kinda stuck here being bored. i did some work today to earn some money and i plan to do the same tomorrow. yesterday, i volunteered at echo and helped make easter baskets for lil kids. that was nice. i felt good about myself. thursday is going to be the highlight of my break. me and katie are going to chicage =]. friday and saturday are going to be designated to homework. sunday is easter. also, austin comes home on sunday and i am really hoping there is some way we can spend some time together. day 3 of 8.
i really want summer. i know i'm complaining about spring break, but summer is completely different. for one thing, austin hopefully won't be gone all summer. also, it's a lot more time for me to get stuff done that i actually want to do contrary to school shit. i want to try and improve some of my artistic skills. maybe do some photography. take a lot of walks. i have my ideas.
sometimes, i like to imagine that i'm in a different place. a place with all different people, a completely different setting, and sometimes a different me. i seem to imagine these fantasy worlds when life gets tough for me. i guess it's my way of coping. i like to escape and run away. sounds rather crazy though.
*sigh*
...just wanna be free from the confines of gravity
i'm having trouble grasping the concept of growing up. i still act like a little kid all the time. i don't ever want to let go of being a child. yet, i really want to get older and be free. it's a troubling concept. all i know is that you can't redo things. there are no second chances (unless you believe in magical stuff like that) so you have to live while you can. i really need to stop doing things that i know i'll regret later. i need to do the best that i can and make all my dreams happen. i have no idea why i'm talking about this. it sort of came out of nowhere.
it is the third day that austin has been on his trip to greenbay. he sent me a picture of his friends alex and anthony. haha i'm glad he is having a good time. cept i'm kinda stuck here being bored. i did some work today to earn some money and i plan to do the same tomorrow. yesterday, i volunteered at echo and helped make easter baskets for lil kids. that was nice. i felt good about myself. thursday is going to be the highlight of my break. me and katie are going to chicage =]. friday and saturday are going to be designated to homework. sunday is easter. also, austin comes home on sunday and i am really hoping there is some way we can spend some time together. day 3 of 8.
i really want summer. i know i'm complaining about spring break, but summer is completely different. for one thing, austin hopefully won't be gone all summer. also, it's a lot more time for me to get stuff done that i actually want to do contrary to school shit. i want to try and improve some of my artistic skills. maybe do some photography. take a lot of walks. i have my ideas.
sometimes, i like to imagine that i'm in a different place. a place with all different people, a completely different setting, and sometimes a different me. i seem to imagine these fantasy worlds when life gets tough for me. i guess it's my way of coping. i like to escape and run away. sounds rather crazy though.
*sigh*
...just wanna be free from the confines of gravity
Thursday, April 2, 2009
kings of chaos
today is our four month anniversary =]
i feel terrible for not posting in over a month. i kinda miss this place. it's just, i've been quite busy and to be honest, it is rather enjoyable to be caught up in life instead of on the computer.
i do not have any real news. i've been on the down low. looking into shiz so i can learn how to drive. keeping up with school. staying sane. raising money for the american cancer society [which isn't going too well]. yeah, nothing interesting.
spring break is next week =] only one more day left. i don't have any plans. austin is going to greenbay for the week to spend time with all of his friends. i'm okay with that. he hasn't seen them in a while and he prolly needs a good break from me. i just don't want to be alone. i have plans to get me some money so i can buy a new pair of shoes. otherwise, it's going to be a lot of nothing. ha maybe i'll have some time to blog then. alas, you need interesting things to talk about in order to blog and i have none.
i just realized how much i really like my blog playlist.
there are a few concerts coming up soon. i was really looking forward to going to the AP tour this year, cept we never got tickets and almost all of the shows including milwaukee are sold out or close to it. i don't know where the enthusiasm went for that one. straight out the damn window. my regular concert buddy, well, let's just say i don't know what's up with that either but they don't seem to want to go to anything either. therefore, i don't know. i'm done failing at the explaination of this.
eventually, something fun will happen and i will be right back to my blogging habits. until then, you can find me posting daily on twitter.
i feel terrible for not posting in over a month. i kinda miss this place. it's just, i've been quite busy and to be honest, it is rather enjoyable to be caught up in life instead of on the computer.
i do not have any real news. i've been on the down low. looking into shiz so i can learn how to drive. keeping up with school. staying sane. raising money for the american cancer society [which isn't going too well]. yeah, nothing interesting.
spring break is next week =] only one more day left. i don't have any plans. austin is going to greenbay for the week to spend time with all of his friends. i'm okay with that. he hasn't seen them in a while and he prolly needs a good break from me. i just don't want to be alone. i have plans to get me some money so i can buy a new pair of shoes. otherwise, it's going to be a lot of nothing. ha maybe i'll have some time to blog then. alas, you need interesting things to talk about in order to blog and i have none.
i just realized how much i really like my blog playlist.
there are a few concerts coming up soon. i was really looking forward to going to the AP tour this year, cept we never got tickets and almost all of the shows including milwaukee are sold out or close to it. i don't know where the enthusiasm went for that one. straight out the damn window. my regular concert buddy, well, let's just say i don't know what's up with that either but they don't seem to want to go to anything either. therefore, i don't know. i'm done failing at the explaination of this.
eventually, something fun will happen and i will be right back to my blogging habits. until then, you can find me posting daily on twitter.
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