I'm Not A Failure Now

i hope i'm studying for my exams enuf. i just got done writing the notes for the three exams i have tomorrow. i'm pretty confident about my spanish exam. i enjoy that class so it should be easy. i'm scared shitless about global studies honors. the lil mo fo teacher hardly told us what we needed to study and we aren't allowed to have any form of notes for the test. chemisty should be alright. i have a full sheet of notes to use and i think i can get thru it. that's what i have tomorrow. thursday i have geometry honors and health. i have to fill out my notes for geometry. i'm hoping that's not too bad. health, we can use any sheets that he gave us throughout the year. i should survive those. friday i have art and english. i'm not sure what's on the art test, but i'm fucked for english.

so, i was complaining about my gpa earlier. i thought i could do better and i should have gotten a 4.0 instead of a 3.763. well, i realized this quarter that it's completely my fault. i'm just lazy. i could get an A in art this semester, but i decided to blow off my perspective drawing and not do it. my teacher told me today that since i didn't do that, i am for sure going to get a B. so i screwed myself there. does that mean that i'm not smart? no, not at all. it just means that i have a lot of shit on my mind right now and i'm letting it affect my school. therefore, whatever grades i get this quarter, i can completely blame that on myself. what a good feeling.

i really like sarcasm and sarcastic people

all i can think about right now is school

exams

should i study more?

i think i have it all down

should i be more anxious?

i'm too calm right now

fuck!

you guys, i'm so not hanging on here. there's a lot of shit getting to me. my mood is not right. there were a lot of things today that should have been funny, but i didn't even laugh. what the hell is wrong? i can't imagine what i have to be upset about. nothing new at least. yeah, there's a lot of stuff that happened in the past, but that shouldn't be producing this much of a change right now. i have a lot of things going for me right now: the perfect guy, good friends, smarts. maybe....i have no idea.

Tripping Eyes And Flooded Longues

we are getting our kitchen remoldeled right now. it's the most inconvenient thing in the world, let me tell ya. for about a month, or however long it takes the guy to do it, we can't go about regular kitchen functions like washing dishes, cooking, and whatnot. it kinda sucks. also, he's going to be tearing out the walls and shiz which means it's gonna be super cold in our house and dusty from the drywall. the only good thing is the end result i guess.

mmm so my sick symptoms have gone from sore throat and cough to head congestion and sneezing. i can't decide which is worse; feeling like your throat is bleeding, or feeling like your head is about to explode.

we had another "cold" day today. this is very good for me cuz i totally procrastinated a lot of things and i needed the time to get it done. cept i keep procrastinating right now and i can't concentrate because of my head. i'm getting ticked off.

semester exams are next week. i haven't studied much at all. watch me fail epicly.

i'm trying hard to improve the things that have been bothering me lately. the two main things i need to do: redirect my focus and organize my priorites-start talking to people more because i can't do everything on my own. no matter how much i think i can pull thru without any outside help, it's just ruining me more and more. it just takes time to learn these things.