mother, you hated that your parents hated you. well, i hate that you hate me. and hopefully soon youll hate that i hate you. thank you for occasionally realizing that you give me hell on a daily basis. fuck you for not doing a damn thing to change. you say im such a bitter, angry, bitchy child. jeez, i wonder why.
i blame you and that swell man you married for the relationship issues i have today. i blame you for starting a family that was destined to fail. you chose to be a stupid teenager. you chose to marry a man that you knew was terrible. you chose to say all of those things youve said to me. youve sealed both of our fates. for you, youre going to be a lonely old woman. and me? well, im just going to be called crazy and insane by every person i love because im paranoid out of my mind thanks to all of the things ive had to experience. yeah sure, i could blame my dad for the abuse he dished out and all of his bullshit. however, i see more and more clearly each day that it was you who allowed all of those things to happen.
maybe im exaggerating a little. i know thats not how i should think. im just angry right now. im bitter. im a bitch. how many more times do i have to hear it? yeah, i get that im crazy. i hate myself enough for it. i already despise who i am. do you have to make it worse?
cool.
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