born to quit

i wish things like this didnt happen on a daily basis. our communication sucks for lack of a better word. two strong headed people are not meant to be together. no matter how many times we cry, we yell, we fight, we fix things, it always seems like we resort back to our old ways. in no way would i ever really want to blame you for everything. that would be wrong. i do the same things as you. i find it pathetic that we cant realize when we are wrong. we cant just stop and listen to the other person. even when i mean no harm by what im saying, you take offense. even when you did not mean to hurt me, im hurt. even when i try to calmly tell you how i feel, you get defensive. it seems like everything turns into an arguement between us these days. you tell me i dont listen. you call me a hypocrite. you say im being a bitch. but as those words fall from your lips, you fail to see the things you have already said. i never claim to be better than you. i try my hardest to not assume what youre going to do. yet, you cant give me that same respect. i know my anger can be a terrible thing. yours is too whether you will admit it or not. in some ways, i feel like i admit more of my faults than you admit of yourself. you say you want to talk things out by how am i supposed to do that when youre being so hostile? sometimes, it feels like you yell at me like a father would scold a child. it seems very condescending. you speak matter of factly then say youre just stating an opinion. i know thats exactly what i did today so i cannot really say its all your fault all of the time.
it breaks my heart every time we do this. alas, i honestly cant change the way i feel. i cant program myself to not take offense to things that bother me. im sorry i am so emotional at times. im sorry i voice when i am hurt or bothered. and it would be stupid of me to expect you to change the way you feel about things. most of the time, i feel like we are destined to be like this for the rest of our time together. i know you say you want to fix things. i know you say forever and always.

but what if that is not best for us?

what if forever and always will bring us more disaffection and pain that happiness?



i dont know what to do.



i dont know what to say.



i dont know how i feel.



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