ants in my pants

well, i kind of forgot about this for a while until a sweet boy reminded me about it. i'm not quite sure what to say. i just feel as though i should say something.
school starts on wednesday. i'm having mixed feelings. my classes this year aren't going to be mega hard or anything. yet, at the same time, i really just don't want summer to end. i am excited for fall. i'm just not ready for my freedom to be taken away.
i don't think i have ever been more passionate about something before in my life. i also don't think i've ever argued with anyone so much before in my life. we've had too many ups and downs to count, but the fact that we have pulled through everything and managed to stay together must mean something. i'm sure that in a week or so these weird feelings for me will go away and we will be back to normal. i mean, you can't expect it to be normal immediately, right? i really want to change for you. i know i have a hard time controlling my emotions. i can be very hurtful, unpredictable, annoying, and so on. i really want to be better. i want to improve. i want to do it for you. i can't fix everything. i can't change who i am. but i'm willing to try to get better. i hope you can help me.
i want to fly to texas so badly. i wish i could visit you. it's hard having your best friend living miles away. maybe i could start saving up money for a plane ticket since i have a job now. maybe i could convince my mom to let me do it by myself. to be honest, she would just be a buzz kill if she came along. i just want to be able to do things with you. driving around listening to say anything and shit. watching dragon ball z. playing board games so i can kick your ass at monopoly in person. going on space adventures. watching '80s movies for me. playing video games for you. i know i can't have everything that i want. however, this i am determined to have. i want it more than anything.
there was a lot more that i wanted to say but my mind is just so blank. i went to green bay last weekend with austin. we hung out with his friend josh who hangs out with a bunch of wannabe kids. i also met his friend kaylyn. she was alright but way to self conscious. and i thought i was bad. all in all, i'm so fucking glad i don't live in green bay. it is a city full of whores and wangster "i think i'm cool but i'm not" guys.
in october, say anything, motion city soundtrack, saves the day, and valencia will be in milwaukee. i am definitely going. i wouldn't miss that for anything. except maybe a plane ticket to texas. it should be lots of fun.
i guess that's it for now. maybe school will give me something more to write about.