i'm sorta upset about my grades in school. i didn't go to conferences because no one could take me [which makes me slightly more upset] so i did not receive my reportcard. but i know enuf to see that i didn't get a 4.0 or anything like that. i got a few A-'s and a B which really does upset me cuz i know i could have and i should have done better. i might as well abolish this post's title that i loved so much before because it does not suit me. i get frustrated when things do not come to me easily and it brings me down when i see my friends just flying by everything like it's no work at all.
my friend taylor has kinda been pissing me off lately. she always seems so involved with herself. sometimes she can't even take two seconds to say hi to me when i see her. i can never talk when i'm around her because she's always too busy telling her own stories. and whenever i want to talk to my other friends, she's already talking their ears off. i feel very neglected when that happens. just like i feel neglected when i'm walking with my friends in the hall but they form a line and leave me behind. ugh. however, i seem to really be enjoying my friend tai right now. she's just really easy to talk to and she's really funny. also, she knows what sort of things bother me and what makes me laugh my ass off. i remember in past years we used to butt heads a lot cuz we are both opinionated people, but lately we seem to be putting our thoughts together and that makes up for taylor's ego.
my birthday is this coming sunday. November 23. and honestly, i can't say i'm excited or anything. i already got a majority of my gifts early. my mom made the concert in october my birthday present. my dad gave me money to buy t-shirts at the concert. and my grandparents purchased me a wonderfully expensive [$80] coat. i don't even think my brother has considered buying me a gift yet. but presents don't matter too much to me. i'm kinda happy to be one year older but at the same time it's like another year of my life wasted. where does the time go nowadays?
so that alex kid that i've been talking about lately. the one from my homecoming group. i finally got his number and we have been texting mostly every day. just simple lil conversations. i really like this kid you guys [and apparently his family can't keep a secret cuz dave told him i liked him] but i just don't think anything will come of this. i guess i was wrong in thinking that since his entire family is catholic he is a catholic. i found out that he's not. idk what to think of this like if he's still really religious or not. either way, i am not very religious at all and i don't think he likes swearing much and i do that a lot. plus, he's really into basketball and exercising and dance and i don't do anything. basically, we are sorta two different people and i can't see the forest for the trees. but i'm not going to dwell on the little things and give up. he's still a cool friend. [aw fuck, i just gave up]
it seems like i don't just do anything for fun anymore. i'm always just focusing on school and homework and other shiz. i don't know. so there's this kid at school named austin. lol he's pretty obnoxious and i'm really cool with that. i've never actually held a conversation with him or anything but i still think he's cool. he likes the foo fighters, the devil wears prada, and drop dead, gorgeous. and apparently he wants to be a ninja when he grows up. so i look forward to passing him in the halls a million times before class starts in the morning. and here's the thing, i don't care what anyone else thinks of him. i don't care if people don't see him as anything special or if people don't think he's hot cuz he's hilarious.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
grades are hard, and it only gets harder as you get older. try not to burden yourself down with a lot of classes. especially if you plan on getting a job, because it will only make it that much more difficult.
about your friends.... you kind of seem like you need ones that... treat you better? i mean pay more attention to you. my "friends" used to do that to me ALL the time. when i finally walked away from their group, they started to say they missed me, and they did, but i wasnt going to go back to them. high school is a big place with a lot of people. at least compared to primary and secondary schools. so theres plenty of room for change. try to take classes with things you like, like art or guitar or whatever suits your fancy, and do it. makes friends with kids in the classes. i promise you it will be a good thing even though it will be hard. i just know its easy for me because i dont necessarily hold attachment to people, which can be seen as a good or bad thing i guess.
and it sounds like austin (?) is a cute kid. it's good you dont worry about what other kids thing of him. i used to be really judgemental, but these two thoughts/thought processes completely changed my outlook on people. the first one, a quote by Confucius, i found in 8th grade
"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it"
i planned to get it tattooed on my body one day.
and also, live with the thought that everyone is your brother and sister. it sounds sick whatever, but it really changes your view on people. i've become a lot more accpeting of everyone because of it, and trust me, i used to be the BIGGEST bitch of the east.
yeah. i enjoy talking to you too. don't mean to offend, but a lot of the advice you give me i've heard before. its probably good for me to hear it again. i used to exercise a lot and it didnt help so i started smoking pot and its actually helped more to be honest. self medication, woo!
horray for Sagittarius! :)
its good to have a huge array of friends. When I was at school I noticed that my group of friends always stayed very tight and rarely we hung around with different people. I travelled somewhere else when i was with my ex girlfriend and i noticed that the friends i met there arn't as close as the friendship circle I had at home. I guess its good to have a wide spectrum of friends so you'll always have someone to goto. I'll always have my number 1 friend though and that wont change.
just my thoughts :P x
Post a Comment